The Promise and Peril of Connection
This week reminded me why we travel – and why we share.
My wife and I began our journey in Seattle, staying with my oldest daughter and her fiancé. There's something irreplaceable about seeing your adult children thriving in their own spaces, building their own lives. After they graciously drove us to the airport, we headed east to Minnesota, eventually landing in Rochester.
Rochester surprised us. We found ourselves in a walkable city with character, staying in an Airbnb just minutes from where our youngest daughter lives with her boyfriend. We explored the impressive Mayo Clinic campus, wandered the city streets, and made the drive to Winona for a campus tour at the university where our daughter will soon pursue her business degree.
When Social Media Actually Works
Here's where the story takes an unexpected turn – the kind that reminds you what social media was supposed to be about.
After sharing a simple post about our Minnesota adventure, my phone buzzed with messages I didn’t expect. An old Army buddy reached out: "Hey, I live 20 minutes from Winona!" Turns out both he and his wife are alumni. Then another notification – a former coworker I haven't seen in years letting me know she has family in the area.
These moments felt like discovering forgotten treasure. This was the original promise of social media: the interconnectedness, the human element, the ability to maintain threads of connection across distance and time.
The Platform Predicament
But we all know what happened to that promise, don't we?
What began as digital town squares became something darker, more complex. I understand the business reality – platforms like Facebook couldn't remain "free" without revenue. Infrastructure costs money. Engineers need paychecks. Servers need electricity.
So advertising became the solution, and eventually, advertisers became the masters these platforms had to serve. The algorithms shifted from showing us what our friends were doing to showing us what would keep us scrolling, clicking, buying, arguing. The human element became secondary to the engagement metrics. People became more divided. Neighbors eyed us with suspicion and we did the same. Some governments even toppled.
Walking the Digital Tightrope
I try to tread lightly through my social media experience, though I don't always succeed. My approach is deliberate:
Pursue the human element
Avoid the rabbit holes designed to divide us
Resist the urge to be categorized, sold to, or pitted against others
Focus on genuine connection over performative posting
If I'm being honest, it's a difficult challenge that current politics and war don’t make easier. It's like watching someone cut a perfect circle with a table saw. It's a beautiful thing when you see it done well. It can be done, but it requires extra work, the right tools, and careful setup. It's not risk-free.
If you know, you know.
Looking Ahead: Connection Across Oceans
As my wife and I prepare for our upcoming move overseas, I find myself thinking deeply about maintaining connections. How do you keep the threads strong when an ocean separates you from the people you love?
Social media will undoubtedly be part of that solution, alongside:
Email exchanges that allow for deeper thoughts
Handwritten letters that carry the weight of intention
Phone calls that preserve the sound of familiar voices
Postcards that share glimpses of new experiences
Physical visits that remind us why we maintain all the other connections
I'm not ready to abandon social media – not when it still occasionally delivers on its original promise. Those messages from old friends this week? They're proof that beneath the algorithms and advertisements, the human network still exists.
The Path Forward
My goal isn't to rage-quit social media in some dramatic digital detox. Instead, I want to be intentional about pursuing and amplifying the parts that remain good, interesting, and thought-provoking. I want to use it as a tool for the connectedness I'm seeking – both maintaining ties in the U.S. and building new ones abroad.
This week's journey through Seattle and Minnesota reminded me that our stories matter. Sharing them matters. And sometimes, when we're lucky, those stories become bridges to connections we thought we'd lost.
The challenge isn't whether to use social media – it's learning to use it without letting it use us. Like that perfect circle cut with a table saw, it requires skill, intention, and respect for the tool's power.
As we prepare for our next chapter overseas, I'm committed to finding that balance. Because at its best, social media can still deliver moments of genuine human connection – like discovering an old Army buddy lives just down the road from where your daughter is heading to college.
Those moments are worth navigating the noise for.
What's your approach to maintaining meaningful connections through social media? How do you find the signal in the noise? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
